My Top People @ Phileos.

1. RIVA. she's the best thing that came to me since I have been a member. To me, she was a sister to the extent that we sometimes sleep together. No malice is defined whenever I'm with her. she is just one stick away when I need a listener. Walang brod-brod o sis-sis pag magkasama kami, basta pag magkasama kami, alam na-- masaya. When we laugh, I can easily forget my problems.

2. KEKE. MY academic committee head. I offer up to her what I am today. Maybe I have ran into false paths but still, she kept my paths straight. If it wasn't for her, I would not have this inspiration to strive harder. Not only on academics, but also when I have personal problems, she would just be there for you.

3. NINANG SHIN. my ninang/friend/mother. I remembered that day on Feb Fair that my ex-girlfriend and I, fought. It was valentine's day and she threw the flowers at my face. I walked out and she was there to follow me. She even cried far before me, because she told me that she gets hurt when I get hurt.

4. CHARD. He is the man. Well, he can be probably considered as one of my idols. He is the person that is delinquent yet doesn't get dismissed, and is very kind yet doesn't let the day end without criticizing a wrong thing done (but constructively).

5. JAEMIE. Track our academic records and you'll find that both of us have the same trend. She really makes it up for the org even if she isn't the deputy president anymore. And also, I know she will always be at my back.

6. REV. my batchmate/blocmate/housemate. If it's something you want to know about me, try asking him, because I can share almost all that I want to say, to him. I'm fortunate that I had him as my batchmate since he is good in academics and sports-- things that I need to learn. If I would enter the organization again, I'll still want it to be the same way. We were the only brods of batch 2006 then and the members can see the potential in us to be presidents. Well, if he wants, then I will support. If he doesn't, I'll step up, for him. I'll raise the batch. Let's say, quality members?

7. ENARD. the idol. He is really good in sports, an academic achiever, a professor, a president. If I would grow up someday, I would like to be like him. He gives plenty of advice when it comes to academics as well as to the organization. Then I really wondered how he made it throughout the 20th anniversary of Phileos as president. I can also share many things and what's great is that he never became a bias on a side. When it comes to org matters, traditions are ensured by him even when we sometimes forget and I really feel that sometimes he sets good standards.

8. JE. the kababayan. Je and I are housemates that's why when it comes that we have problems, personally, emotionally or even about the org, we never forget anything to say. He is a good leader since he is also a good follower.

9. CEZ. the mommy. She makes me happy. We tend to be really crazy especially the time that we were both at my 'former' apartment with the two lovers. Haha. We were really angry then. But I really miss her now. I really do believe that she is very intelligent.

10. KARLO. Karlo is the guy that even everyone teases him, still stands proud. I remembered the time that we were kind of 'x-packed' from the Executive Council because of our gimmick before the meeting. We were buddies since then because we cannot face the other officers since they were mad on us. Eventually, I became one of his jutes-mates.

11.GELA. Gela knows everything. From my deep personal flaws and up to my strength. She is very academically-inclined. That's why I am also motivated to being a microbiology major because of her.

12.LALA. the ex-girlfriend. I really give that much gratitude to her because she influenced me the most. What I am today, is influenced by her, almost. And I want to return that gratitude. For now, I don't know how.

These are the people I like the most, for they are the most influential of all the influentials.

Cigarettes.

Cigarettes are the things parents would not recommend to their children. According to 'scientists', they can kill you slowly and give you diseases like lung cancer, emphysema, bad breath, and black gums and lips. Well ironically, why would sellers sell cigarettes when they always put the sign: "Cigarette Smoking is bad for your health," or signs like "Warning: Cigarette Smoking causes death," or "These are notr suitable for minors." I get angry on them sometimes because of that. In fact, Judy Ann Santos won't advertise Fitrum if she is not using it, right? Well, people commonly misunderstands their fellow people. Why do people smoke? Why do I smoke? The taste is not really the thing for me. It's just because, because of cigarettes or what I call as C2 or Isaw (ask me why I call them that.), I have developed friends. I found true people. I know people more because of that and because of that, I know they would be right there to give you 2 bucks and buy one and then sit, chat and reflect. Smoking is not really bad, I think. It depends on how one person would look at it. I'm not being a bias but I think people should reconsider their thoughts of judging an addict--- for still, he has reasons. Smoking never made my appetite better, but I smoke because when I'm with my friends to eat. I smoke not because I am a rebellious child, but rather a boy who would like to experience something no one can ever see at books. Smoking is widespread, smoking connects people. Why'd you think I could be at ease with 22-25 year-old people? That's the reason. I think this post is enough with the words 'smoke' and 'cigarettes' because I know, my dad knows now how to access the internet. Ü

Self-Preservation

Joining an organization is not really a big burden for students. Organizations seldom get mmisunderstood about the fact that they are really great help for students and secondarily, they are the ones who make schools move. Yeah sure, activities, games, meetings are there. Members implant virtues on the minds of the applicants. Some may live for the virtues, some may not. Some may apply them, some will not. Once I became a member, or once you have been a member, it is a task to pass over what you have learned when you were at the point of joining there. Virtues like, time management, thinking under pressure and some ordinary virtues that somehow resemble those of the Christians. But one thing, I have forgotten to teach was only one virtue-- SELF-PRESERVATION. I had to ask the other people what was the one I was forgetting. Then it came that me, on myself couldn't apply it. Shit. I hate myself. How come I have become so influenced. Can I do something? Hell I think, no more. This is me, I have became like this because of me. I think no one could ever change me but me. I have become a monster, in the disguise as an angel. Hmmm... Now, I don't know what's my next step. I'll think of that.

A Sign of Revival

the 4th of May '08--that was the start when my life was changed, drastically i think. we were having our SPKKKabite Youth Camp and Seminar, a 2-week camp filled with studying God's Word and recreational activities among gathered youth of Cavite. At first, I wasn't at ease, thinking that i can't do whatever i wanted to do (yeah, you know it!) I had 2 absences, tuesday and wednesday, because i needed to go to school for scheduled interviews [which was cancelled, grr.]. Then I regretted the chance given to me to join the camp. But then again, Ms. Thursday came and I felt a sudden change within me, mainly because I got so implanted with God's Word. (Doctrine 2: Blood, Mission 2: Personal Evangelism, Preaching 2B: Expository Preaching, Epistles: Titus, and Counseling). Within me I have felt a sudden need of God, a feeling like i am a prisoner, a drug addict or a murderer. But when I heard those words, those verses, those prayers, i stopped and thinked: "Wow, this camp really came handy, at least for that time." I learned how to preach, to counsel and to evangelize. These activities were to reach out people in need of God and i laughed at myself and said, 'hey, i am one of those people who are in need!' The day passed that I have learned something. Not perfect, but at least something. The magic thing there was when i started to speak, i felt like i wanted to shout and shout something, some word i don't know. I wanted to cry, because i think God is calling me in the ministry of preaching, and i realized that i'm somehow good. But wait, that wasn't in my plan of study, my plan of study included chemistry, biology, and the likes. I don't know, i just felt an awkward feeling that i am doing something i am not worthy of? Anyway, who would listen to a drunk and a smoker? Hell, no one. I don't know why this is happening to me. I feel like i am in a rope in the middle, with 2 people pulling me at both ends. I never felt like smoking anymore. Why?! Is God changing me? I want, but i don't want it yet. I'm too young for that kind of stuff. I want to cry, because i think God is now threading a purpose in me amidst of the lesson learned from my dismissal in my school. I think God is pulling me to study Him not his body, His words and not the anatomy of His face, His actions and ways, and not the involuntary movements made by His brain. I am a Christian, christians and scientists contradict each other. Where will i go?

the feeling of a second chance

hmmmm... It's kinda hard when you screw up many things in your life huh? My recent days were like that. You enjoy to do stuff instead of doing the things you need to do. You rather hang out than to study, you will rather choose to be with your girlfriend instead of going home, or you will rather eat than to do an assignment due the next day. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy! Yeah it's good and it's only spelled with 5 letters. But in the end, it can crash you hard, as if you were a can of coke, as if you were a fragile glass, or as if you were a cover slip to be cleaned for the next experiment. Regretting is always in the end. Yeah, I guess, at first, there are many people to blame but it's not their fault--- it's mine. They're like a box of chocolate, you wouldn't have tonsilitis if you haven't eaten them yourself. The wrong is in thy self. But the first chances got blew up so forget everything about that! Face life, not face the poop you have stepped on yesterday. It's about today, not yesterday. Do something today to repair your future. And that's what I'm doing now, in 4 days, i will be knowing if that second chance would be given to me. And I'm praying for that. Whew, so help me God!