Self-Preservation

Joining an organization is not really a big burden for students. Organizations seldom get mmisunderstood about the fact that they are really great help for students and secondarily, they are the ones who make schools move. Yeah sure, activities, games, meetings are there. Members implant virtues on the minds of the applicants. Some may live for the virtues, some may not. Some may apply them, some will not. Once I became a member, or once you have been a member, it is a task to pass over what you have learned when you were at the point of joining there. Virtues like, time management, thinking under pressure and some ordinary virtues that somehow resemble those of the Christians. But one thing, I have forgotten to teach was only one virtue-- SELF-PRESERVATION. I had to ask the other people what was the one I was forgetting. Then it came that me, on myself couldn't apply it. Shit. I hate myself. How come I have become so influenced. Can I do something? Hell I think, no more. This is me, I have became like this because of me. I think no one could ever change me but me. I have become a monster, in the disguise as an angel. Hmmm... Now, I don't know what's my next step. I'll think of that.